There are times when I feel hungover from dreaming so hard. The heat caused from the momentum of visions I see for myself, as fun as it is, can also be exhausting.
Yet amongst all of that dreaming, and excitement, lingers a tiny voice that reminds me that this too is a phase. With all ups come downs. It is just the way things go. Twenty something Lauren, would hone in on the downs and suit up as if she was preparing for war. But thirty something Lauren, she is different. She has grown up. She no longer needs to keep suiting up because she is confidently ready for whatever comes her way. She finally is taking a big, fat bite of the fact that life is way cooler when you look ahead at the fun shit. The ups and downs are a part of the whole thing. It can't always be good and most certainly won't always be bad. (No, I did not just hit a bong.)
This diptych is from an ongoing series that I started last spring. It was my way of exploring the ups and downs. The obsession with one another combined with the heartbreak. The rise and the fall. He loves me, he loves me not. That sort of thing. It is amazing to me how you can work so hard for someone to pay attention to you and as soon as you get it, you feel that awkward shift of not enjoying it anymore and feeling claustrophobic from their attention, that you lightweight, begged for. I wanted to capture ego vs vulnerability.
Who knows where this series will go but for now, here is a taste of the idea.
And those two beautiful beings are some of the most incredible dancers I know. More on them soon. (Thank you Meredith & David)